


Picture of a merc

by TheBlazeCal



Series: Earth-1218 [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Earth-1218, Implied abuse, M/M, Terminal illness (cancer), non descriptive mentions of pedophilia, suicide by cop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 17:05:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4713764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlazeCal/pseuds/TheBlazeCal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New York, a lively city, a city full of interesting people, the nights of New York are full of life as well as darkness, a young photographer gets help from a random stranger, a stranger that belongs in the darkness of those nights, but he doesn't belong in NYC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The night belong to the freaks

**Author's Note:**

> Slow day at work, technical issues in a system in a call center can leave one bored out of their mind, so I started wondering what it would be like for Peter Parker and Wade Wilson in our universe, no powers, no reality hacking, just skill and daily drag.

He never had to worry about himself as he walked the streets at night, he had this natural vibe that worked to repel any unwanted harassment. Wade Wilson relished in the freedom the night brought him, the night belongs to the freaks of society.

He could hear the sounds of a fight and glanced aside in an annoyed manner, a group of drunk soldiers harassing a young man with a camera, the man looked bothered, annoyed and like he was holding back.

So he scrapped his throat as he came closer, ignoring the nagging voice in his head as he tapped the shoulder of the blond big guy who was leading the group. He punched the guy straight in the face as the bully turned around.

“That’s for dishonoring the uniform, walking around in uniform harassing harmless civilians, you should be ashamed of yourself, have some pride in your duty.” 

The men jumped up to attack him but froze as they saw his scar covered face, they ran off quickly while he helped the smaller guy up. Wade patted of the dirt of the young man  who looked at him with big brown doe eyes.

The only thing that ran through his mind was that the earlier bully victim would puke at the sight he saw when the shock wore off, but instead the guy gave him a small smile. To his surprise the young man even reached for his camera.

“Thank you for the help, would you mind if I take your picture? I like having pictures of people who impacted my life in some way…”

He blinked confused at that, the guy was smiling at him and waiting for his reply, not trying to sneak a picture of his ugly mug, not violating any of his personal boundaries, not running away in disgust… it was a surprisingly pleasant change, so against better judgment and against the nagging voice in the back of his head he agreed to having his picture taken.

“I am Peter, Peter Parker, who are you?”  
“Wade, Wade Wilson, doubt you’ll ever see me again though…I wander”  
“Well thank you Wade, I am glad I got to meet you…”  
“Just do yourself a favor Petey, stay away from drunks and hide that camera, you’re asking to get mugged with that thing around your neck…”  
“Aaah, freelance newspaper photographer, need to be ready to snap the shots…”  
“Just make sure you don’t hit the front page kid…”

Wade walked away after that, at least he knew now that there were people around who could look at him without freaking out, all he had to do was save them first, and that was probably not going to become a habit anytime soon. He was here to do a job in this city and nothing would keep him in the city longer than needed to finish that job.

With his duffle bag on his shoulder he slowly made his way to his hotel,  before changing his mind opting to take his time as he walked around the city. Inhaling the polluted air as he watched the sky discolor, a color dampened by the many streetlights of the city, but the colors of sunrise showed the end of the time of the freaks, the beginning of the daily drab would be soon.

He entered the hotel calmly, making his way to his room without as much as a word, silent motions of his keycard and a grumpy look was usually all it took to get on his way, making his way to the room a pretty pleasant one due to it being too early for others to rise and too late for others to go to bed.

He dropped on his bed in the hotel room, closing the curtains as he ordered some room service, turning on the television flipping between channels untill he found the local news channel. He pulled out the black book he used as well as a pen and crossed of one of the lines calmly while watching the news report on a big business man who was found death in his home, near him a box of evidence of his corruption, both political as human corruption in the form of kiddie porn.

He pulled out a laptop from under his bed, gathering all his evidence in a file after copying it from the USB stick he had taken from the crime scène. Filing it neatly under a password protected area on the secure device, he had removed the Bluetooth and Wireless systems out of this device to avoid any information tracking.

He got up as they knocked on the door, shoving a tip in the clerks hand without looking up as he pulled the cart of food in his room, not minding the kid’s stares. They were sending someone else every time and all of them gawked at him like he was a freak on display, but unlike on a freak show where he’d get paid to be stared at, he was paying them.

The door slammed shut with some help of his foot as he turned back to his bed, sitting down on it to have his food. He took out a clean piece of paper, using the pen from earlier to write out his kill and method in great detail, making a mission report as he had been trained to do in the past, a debrief or a confession it was all the same.

When finished he started flipping through the channels till one that showed nothing but cartoons popped up, staring mindlessly at that till he fell asleep with the dirty food tray still on his bed. He slept on top of his blankets with his duffle bag near him, always in reach and used as a support or even something to wrap around to make the bed less empty.

He snapped awake as housekeeping came in to clean his room, quickly he picked up his bag, taking it with him to the bathroom which he locked behind. He sang some random songs that popped to mind as he showered enjoying the feeling of the hot water on his skin. Mentally blocking the sight of the mirror while he zipped open his bag, pulling out his leather black and red pants and jacket, touching them for a moment before pulling out his spandex mask, he put it on before silently cleaning his leather clothes and used weapons in the bathroom, putting everything including the mask back in his bag before he dressed in a simple red button down and black jeans. Listening at the bathroom door before he went out into the main room, the maid had left again and the room was left smelling like roses.

He dropped back on the bed in a relaxed manner, turning the tv on a music channel while he pulled out his tablet, reading over the forum requests for new adds to the list again, googling some of them, making a few files as he bit the inside of his lip as if it were a piece of chewing gum, not really registering the taste of blood in his mouth as he pulled out the black book again, adding some of the names casually.

“Cheating? …not worth getting killed for…”

He tossed the tablet a bit away from him on the bed as he listened to the music, trying to lock out the stirring in his head by trying to focus on how he was going to go about the next person on the list, they would be expecting a shipment that night, it would be near midnight, time enough to find a good position to install himself with his sniper rifle. 


	2. The docks

He made his way to the docks around eight in the evening, changing his clothes in a shielded corner before looking to find a spot where he could set up his gear, he checked the container numbers so he would know which ones he’d need to be able to aim at from the front and side and found a hidden cache between a bunch of containers to lay down in with his gear, nice and high up.

He put in some earbuds as he let a random mix of music blare into his ears while he watched the hours slide by, he wasn’t the most patient man around, but when need be he could keep this up for hours, unless his batteries died.

When it was nearing ten he saw another slender form slip into the area, the figure was dressed in black, a hoody and a black scarf hid most of his face, but the way the figure moved was familiar, a dangling camera around their neck. Wade sucked in his lips as he observed the lean and swift figure that took pictures of the area, leaning near the container to listen to the faint sounds coming from inside.

He shook his head faintly at that, the kid was going to ruin his hit, damn them, he had to do something so he got up slowly, moving around the slender figure, placing his hands on both of their shoulders at once as he leant close, on a hunch he said in a calm voice.

“Taking live action pictures Parker?”

The young man under his hands froze up completely a chance he took full advantage of to pick them up and drag them along to his hiding space, being glad he was wearing a mask, though the kid would probably connect the dots pretty quickly.

He tucked his mp3 player away as he slid back down in the position this time with a confused young photographer stuffed behind him in the hiding space he was laying in, the shock was wearing off and the kid started kicking him trying to get passed him to run.

“Not going to hurt you Parker, but if you want pictures of the human trade deal that’s going to be happening here in a few hours you better hope you can have a nice zoom function and you better not be squeamish around blood, I have a job to do, not that you care or anything, but you snooping around like that is bad for the recon guys.”

“Blood? Are you going to hurt them?”  
“No Parker, I am going to kill them…”

The kid started kicking him frantically again and hissing about how killing people was evil, he had no right to play judge, jury and executioner.  So he turned around and grabbed the young man, pinning him down under him as he pulled out his black book, shoving it in his face.

“I am only the executioner, not the judge nor the jury, the judge however got bribed and the jury got blackmailed… let me do my job Peter Parker, you’ll get some great pictures to pay your rent.”  
“Guess I misjudged you Wade Wilson, I didn’t take you for a killer…”  
“I guess you need to work on your people skills then mister photographer, didn’t I tell you to avoid becoming front page news, snooping around the crime riddled docks trying to find dirt, really stupid you know.”

He put his hand over the photographer’s mouth as a man came to look around the area calmly, browsing around, checking the ground floor, doing a quick scan of the nearby rooftops, before smacking on the container a few times, making muffled screams sound out from the people inside.

Wade pushed his full weight down on the young man under him, feeling the tense body, the speedy heartbeat of his prisoner send a wave of different feelings through him (when was the last time he was this close to someone?) while he focused on the man while they walked away again. He released his hand of the young man’s face when he was sure it was safe watching those accusing brown eyes while he placed his finger over his masked lips.

He picked the man up and laid him on his back as he took his position back behind the sniper rifle, he could still feel Peter Parker’s racing heartbeat as the photographer placed his camera on top of his masked head, the sound of the screams from the container had brought a different facial expression that seemed to tear at the young man’s decision around what to do with the mercenary he was using as a pillow now.

The time before life came to the docks crawled by, as Wade spend it listening to his companion’s heartbeat and breathing, keeping his focus through the lens, watching every little bit of life on the docks. A fancy black car followed by a van was the first to arrive, before a little later a second more neutral black car drove up as well. The van was excited by two muscle heads, clearly only there for the cargo, the man out of the fancy car was his target, a young man, dressed in classy clothing, an ice cold stare and a charm that would probably work well on the ladies, if he weren’t an absolute dickhead.

The second car provided a foreigner who would have probably been very hated in the slavery days, he was black, no one is lower than a black slaver in the eyes of his own people, he knew already what was in the container, a group of black children and teen girls from tribes in the poorer parts of Central Africa, children who were either bought or stolen away.  

He felt the shift on top of him as the young man started taking pictures, he didn’t wait much longer though, he shot the first shot through the head of the target, watching him collapse, using the confusion and silence to load a second shot and nail the black slaver through the head as well, before pulling out his handguns and getting up, the startled Peter was already sitting on the ground behind him, clearly the bloody shots didn’t really do the kid good. He took out the henchmen as well as an added bonus before he shot the lock on the container sheeting his weapons before he slowly opened it.

He ignored the fact that Peter was taking pictures as he checked on the kids calmly pulling out a burner phone he notified the emergency services about the children before running back to the containers grabbing his gear and stuffing it in the bag while he tossed the phone in the water. He chose to drag Peter along by his hood because they needed to have a chat, after they were away from arresting distance.


	3. Panic

This evening walk wouldn’t be dragged out, that much Wade was sure off.  The panicking youngster had been knocked out by him to avoid drawing attention, he had put the duffle bag around him in a way that it would double as a cushion for the ‘napping’ Peter. He was carrying him on his back, making it look like he was carrying a drunken friend home.

He took the young man with him to his hotel room, dropping him on the bed before taking a glass of water and a wet towel, placing the towel on Peter’s head as he sat down next to him watching the young man calmly before taking his camera, filtering out some of the pictures that had been taken that could compromise either of them.

He was looking at a picture of himself while he was taking out the henchmen, his posture and the radiance of a killer he could just feel from the picture, it stung, because he had never wanted to be a cold blooded killer, but it was necessary evil.

He was snapped out of that track of mind when he heard a slight groan out of his guest, so he put the camera aside before leaning over the young Peter, touching his neck checking to see how steady the pulse was before pulling away again before those brown eyes opened.

“…What happened?”  
“You had a panic attack, I knocked you out…”  
“You did what?”  
“I avoided creating a scene and drawing unwanted attention…”  
“I didn’t have a panic attack…”  
“I recognize a panic attack when I see it…”  
“Why would I have a panic attack Wade?”

He calmly held out the shot he had been looking at, showing it to your young man watching him pale away again, eyes widened, soft gasps for air sounded from the young man and the merc gently put the camera down, placing the glass of water aside as he carefully pulled the panicking man close, tossing the fallen wet cloth aside.

“I got you Peter, it’s okay, deep breaths, breath in … breath out… breath in … breath out”

He felt hands clutch onto his arms, he expected the young man to shove him away and try to flee, but to his surprise the man clutched to him as if he were a life line, him being a killer triggered something in the young man, but at the same time, him without the suit also seemed to trigger something entirely different in the man.

He froze at the sound of sobs, the scent of salty tears in the air and the feel of a face buried in his chest brought a knot in his throat, he shouldn’t let this photographer come this close, it would be safer to take him out, since he knew his identity, but he would never take out an innocent like that, occasionally steal from innocents sure, but he’d never kill an innocent like that.

“Want to talk about it?”  
“…No…Maybe…No…Yeah…”  
“Are you afraid of me?”  
“…Yes…No…”  
“Deep breaths baby boy, deep breaths…”

He felt the hands relax and tense with every breath, the pain it caused in his skin was nearly unbearable, but it was nothing less than he deserved, he was a killer after all, he didn’t feel bad about killing the criminals he killed, but he felt bad for the people who were left behind, they had loved ones after all, sure the world was better off with them taking a permanent nap six feet under, but for some people those criminals had been the world.

“I ran away from home after a fight…my uncle came after me and called for me…I wanted to return to him when he was already trying to stop a mugger from attacking a lady, the gun went off…I was only a few steps away, the bullet went through him, he died within minutes, there was nothing I could do except for see the life leave him as blood pooled under him against my legs and hand as I tried to pressure the wound…”  
“Bullets, guns bring that back hu?”

The young man felt so fragile in his arms, though he doubted Peter Parker was a fragile person, he remembered the vibe of the man holding back when he first met him, and the kicks he had given him before left him painful and had even tore open his scared skin in some places, so Peter Parker landed a mean punch, there was no doubt about that.

“You need to promise me not to tell anyone who I am…”  
“…but you’re a killer, you need to go to the police…”  
“I am a hitman, I regularly work for the CIA and other such organisations…”  
“It’s not right…”  
“I am called the Deadpool, since you got the scoop picture, it’s the first time I don’t remove all the pictures someone took…”  
“It’s not right though…”  
“The world isn’t right Peter, we live in a world where good people get hurt, when there are no more people I need to take out, I’ll turn myself in for my punishment, but until then, this is what I need to do…”

He watched the exhausted young man, panic attacks are extremely draining, that much he knew and Peter looked like he could collapse from being poked at the moment, so against better judgement he wrapped the blanket around the man in his arms and held him close like that, watching him doze off with tear stains on his face.


	4. Someone who cares

Wade woke up to the feeling of a hand on his cheek and chest, a feeling that made him freeze in panic for a moment, before he opened his eyes, only to look in the curious eyes of the photographer he had been comforting the night before.

He groaned faintly because he hadn’t realized he had dozed off, nor had he expected the young man to still be there if he had woken up before him. He blinked a few times and placed his scared hand over the hand on his chest.

“Good morning baby boy…”  
“I am not your baby boy…Wade, what happened last night?”  
“Nothing, you just had a serious panic attack, well two of those actually, so I kept you safe and calm…please tell me you didn’t puke on the bed from how I look.”  
“Why would I do that?”  
“Because the last person I woke up with like this did that…”

The young man tilted his head and shrugged before getting up calmly, taking his camera and looking at the picture again before tucking the camera away, this time he didn’t seem so shaken up by the sight, probably calmed down and placed it already.

“So you going to blow my identity, or are you going to do more research on the Deadpool before selling this to your paper?”  
“Why don’t you tell me more about the Deadpool then?”  
“…Why would I make your job even easier, you got internet don’t you baby boy?”

The young man glared at him annoyed at that and tapped the camera, he seemed to consider rubbing the fact that he knew his name in his face, but Wade just watched him calmly, opening his duffle bag he held up a large collection of passports before the young man could open his mouth.

“Is Wade Wilson even your real name?”  
“It’s the name I use…”  
“You’re a mysterious man Wade…”  
“That’s a good thing don’t you agree baby boy?”

Peter Parker let out a huff as he crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes avoiding Wade, but the man could swear he could see a blush on his face. He sat up slowly and realized his button down he had put on had been unbuttoned.

“If you’re not grossed out by my body, take this first aid kit and take care of the injuries you caused Mister Kicker.”

He listened to the sound of an annoyed but accepting scoff as he turned around and took off his unbuttoned button down and his pants, remaining only in his briefs as he lay down on the bed face down. He could hear the gasp of his caretaker as he saw the scared body. Soon he felt the familiar sting of disinfectant on the open parts of the kicks, mostly they were left impressions of the young man’s heal and tip, depending on how he had hit the skin.

“Does your kit have a cream to treat your scars as well?”  
“The tube of Aloe Vera, but you don’t have to do that…”

He closed his eyes when he heard the sound of the tube as soon some cold cream was rubbed on his skin, the rubbing motion stung, but in a pleasant way as he felt the hands of his new found care taker rub in the cream gently, massaging it into his sore skin. Wade couldn’t help but surrender to the feeling, he couldn’t remember the last time someone willingly cared for him like that.

“Turn over, I still have a lot of cream on my hands, I’ll do your front as well, it should ease the pain in your scars a bit…”  
“So caring baby boy…”  
“I am a decent human being, you cared for me when I was in pain, I am just returning the favor nothing more, nothing less…”

He felt a pang at that and closed his eyes, keeping a poker face on as he focused inwardly, of course the young photographer didn’t do it out of care, just out of obligation, after all they met by Wade saving his ass, then the panic attacks, he just had a debt to pay. It felt nice though, to pretend that Peter cared, an illusion that was already shattered now, but it had been nice as long as it lasted.

“If you reveal what I look like underneath that mask of mine baby boy, I will have to hurt innocent people to carry on this mission of mine…so please restrain yourself from doing so…"

He watched the photographer tense at that, biting his lip as he looked him in the eyes, looking for something that would cancel that claim, 

"Also I expect you back here around nine in the evening, bring a bag with your sneaking clothes and wear something normal.”  
“What?! Why?!”  
“Because if you’ll be sneaking around like that you are going to get killed, I am going to teach you, what you do with it is your business, but I don’t want you killed if I can help it…”


	5. A lot to learn

He was waiting in the hotel lobby in the evening, at nine sharp Peter walked in, looking around nervously as Wade approached him. Wade wrapped an arm around his shoulder and guided him back to his room.

“So did you research?”  
“Yes I did…”  
“What did you find?”  
“A lot of urban legends…a very weird forum that’s nearly completely blank.”

Wade chuckled at that and messed up Pete’s hair as they entered his room gesturing Pete to take a seat on the bed. Sitting down on the couch as he watched the fumbling Pete, it was so clear to see that he was nervous as hell, probably wondering why he even came back.

“Empty your bag baby boy, show me your gear…”

Fumbling hands unzipped the bag, before the content was laid out calmly, he approached calmly as the young man watched the gear in a satisfied manner, but he clacked his tongue annoyed. The kit won’t do, not for the kind of life the kid was leading.

He shook his head in an annoyed manner chucking all the clothes aside, shaking his head as he checked out the camera gear. The pupil didn’t even have a set of night vision lenses for his camera, there were no gloves in the kit either, he had a lot to teach him that much was for sure.

“You take pictures in crime scenes while trespassing and you don’t even wear gloves? Do you want to go to jail baby boy?”  
“I am not doing anything illegal…”  
“You are trespassing, you are not backed by big money and your fingerprints can end up on hard stuff like for example a human trade container near a murder scene.”  
“I didn’t touch that container though…”  
“Because I yanked you away, I know… you’re damn lucky”

His pupil glared at him sharply at that, but decided to keep his mouth shut, he looked like he was suppressing something nasty to say. So Wade got up again calmly and stood in the emptier part of his room.

“Punch me, as hard as you can, no holding back…”  
“What?! No…”  
“I am telling you to punch me baby boy, are you a chicken?”  
“Oh so mature…”  
“Just punch me, how can I know what I have to work with if I don’t even know how weak you are…”

A twitch formed near the young man’s eye at that, he got up calmly, moving slowly, before he took a darn efficient punch towards Wade, who simply moved so the punch would hit the back of his arms, preventing himself from getting hurt too much.

“Oh my, the photographer packs quiet a punch when he wants to…”  
“Shut up… don’t you ever shut up?”  
“I shut up when I am sniping and that’s about it…you’ll have to learn that silent sniper attitude to for when you’re taking pictures of these secret deals and stuff…”  
“You’re acting like what I do is super dangerous…”  
“It is the way you do it… media photographers have to risk a lot to get the best shot.”

Wade watched the young man wrap his head around that information and stepped closer taking him in a lock grip, watching the man freeze up again. He breath in the ear of his victim heavily before licking his lips.

“When you want to be a crime photographer baby boy, any misstep can be your last, freezing up makes you easy prey, are you prepared to learn to fight for your life?”  
“…Just self-defense, not to kill, I don’t want to be like you. “  
“I promise you baby boy, I don’t want any blood on your hands…”


	6. You need gear baby boy!

He had sparred and trained with Peter till the young man had started fazing in an out of focus due to exhaustion, so he tucked him in bed while he sat back down in the couch, looking up information on his next target, as well as checking his mail, reading the mail from his doctor calmly.

He only had a few months left to finish this list, something he would do for the sake of the people who had contacted him, the Deadpool initiative had about any kind of requests for hits, Wade Wilson was suspicious at first, but the forum drew to the harmed people who banded together for justice, the poor, the unbelievable, the dying, it didn’t pay, but he was rich enough from his life as a mercenary.

He had told the young man he would turn himself in when his work was done, he knew that was a lie, because he knew he wasn’t going to live long enough, his stage four cancer was untreatable, every day he felt his body ache and die more, experimental treatment for his disease had only left him scared and disfigured, it had left him a monster, something no one could love, which was for the best, no one would mourn him that way.

“Two months hu, I guess New York will be the city I die in then…”

He took a hot shower before he slid in bed against the sleeping photographer, wearing nothing but a pair of slacks as he wrapped his disfigured arms around the man, it was a lot nicer to hold a warm body then a duffle bag.

He woke up before his guest and ordered breakfast for two with room service, accepting the food without giving the server a chance to glance in as he just shoved the tip in his face and slammed the door shut, from the squeak he heard and the slight damper in the closing of the door he suspected he had hit the nosy clerk in the face with it.

“Serves you right…”

He placed the tray on the bed and gently shook his guest awake watching the dazed look on his face as he offered him a bacon and egg breakfast, they ate together in silence and he put his gear away behind lock and key before taking out his wallet calmly putting on his soft fabric pants and button down as well as a hoody, getting dressed in those while he smiled at his guest.

“We’re going shopping come on…”  
“What? Why?”  
“You need gear, decent gear, my treat as an apology for making you freak out…”

He dragged Peter along before he could really protest and made his way out in public, it’s been a long time since he went out during the day like this, let alone with the plan to stay outside for more than ten minutes.

He took the kid to an electronic store first of all and got him a new camera with a series of different lenses for night time photography and for zooming and such. Their next stop was a sport store where he got the kid knee and elbow protectors as well as some pitch-black anti slip shoes, tight running leggings and a black compression shirt and ski-mask.

The young photographer tried to protest several times, but he just silenced him with a glance whenever he wanted to use his arguments in public, after hearing the whispers of blood money come from his mouth.

After that he got the kid a pair of leather gloves, leather pants and a leather coat as well, layers were the key to giving protection, but the leather would serve the kid well in the colder moments as well. A black duffle bag was thrown in for good measures, before he started checking his clock a few times.

“Well baby boy, I expect you around the same time tonight, but I got to go now and I bet you have a job to go to as well.”

Before Peter could answer he stopped a cab and got in, ordering the man to go to the hospital as he watched the young man glare at the cab in an annoyed manner while he was left there with his shopping bags.


	7. Company

Wade felt sick, often he felt like just quitting the chemo, though he had already minimized it as much as he could. Still he fought the cancer, though it was terminal, he was going to buy himself more time, so he could finish the work, something he had been doing for five years now was just that, delaying the inevatable.

He looked at the food he had delivered to his room when he had returned from the hospital, taking a few bites before he made his way to the bathroom, throwing it up again and brushing his teeth when he did so, leaving the food aside and settling for a large glass of alcohol instead, he had no need to worry about his liver anymore, he wouldn’t live long enough to regret drinking.

He called the hospital while he drank the alcohol, using it to wash away the doubt he had as he cancelled the rest of his chemo appointments, throwing the phone on a corner of the bed before he sat down, drinking another glass as he watched the door. 

“He ain’t coming…”  
“…maybe he is…”  
“…Maybe I just need more alcohol…”

He was muttering to himself as he glanced at the clock, it was ten after nine by now, he was just about to start drinking from the bottle when he heard knocking on his door so he put the bottle away and hid the glass as well before he opened the door, smiling brightly at the sight of his baby boy.

 

“Hey baby boy…”  
“Good evening Wade…”

He wobbled on his feet before he stepped back letting his guest into his room, making his way to his bed again dropping down on it. Peter looked at him with an arched eyebrow before sitting down next to him, looking at the unfinished food and back at him.

“Are you sick?”  
“I am sick in the head…”

Wade grinned at him as he sat back up before getting serious and picking up his tablet, opening the file of his next target showing it to Peter. Leaning his arm around the young man’s shoulder as he read the file, an angry frown forming on his face.

 

“That’s horrible, but …”  
“You don’t think he deserves to die for it?”  
“I think he deserves a trial…”  
“He already had one, he got acquitted, because the evidence kept disappearing, witnesses’ disappeared without a trace and were found later in the river…”

Peter bit his lip at that and looked at him again, while Wade pulled out a file with surveillance photos and evidence of more recent crimes which he slipped to Peter. He looked him in the eyes in a calm manner.

“Corruption is a disease, it’s like a cancer that riddles our society, I am just cutting out some of the tumors while damaging as little healthy tissue as possible.”  
“People aren’t tumors, people can change to something good.”  
“People never really change that much…”  
“Then you’ll always be a killer…”  
“Till the day I die kid.”

He glanced at the evidence and stretched lazily before falling back on the bed, his eyes sliding shut as he felt Peter stare at him. The mention of dying seemed to trouble the kid, guess he should keep that in mind.

“You can have the evidence, you can mail yourself the file, you’re a reporter, write some big expose or something, he’ll be dead in two days, I am waiting for the right time…so do yourself a favor and wait till then…avoid hitmen that way.”  
“What will you do?”  
“I will make sure he gets the death penalty he deserves…”  
“I can’t accept or respect that…”  
“I don’t need either of those from you, I am just going to teach you to stay alive…just not today…”

He looked at the bag of stuff his protégé had brought along again, touching the sports bag for a moment, the soft black duffel bag was full of the stuff he had bought the young man.

“I just need some comfort…”  
“I am not a prostitute…”  
“I know, but you’re company…”  
“You can’t buy my company…”  
“I am not trying to buy your company…”

He watched the young man and touched his back without getting up, he gave him a faint smile before he bit his lip hesitantly and pulled away getting up slowly grabbing the cold food trying to eat a bit more again.

“I am just…I am just enjoying the fact that I can have some company who doesn’t shiver or puke or stare when faced with me…”

He didn’t look back at Peter, not even when he felt the warm soft hand on his shoulder as he ate, somehow it made eating a bit easier, somehow it made living a bit easier. Even if it were only for a few more weeks, he was glad he met the young man. Because his black book only had five more names left, but he would be spending days making sure this kid would survive.


	8. sooner rather than later

It was comforting to wake up in a warm bed, he didn’t know when they fell asleep, but he woke up with his head resting on the stomach of his pupil, the platter of half eaten food was on the nightstand and his guest was drooling on the pillow while he was laying across the bed instead of properly.

He could feel the hand of Peter resting on his arm that was tangled with the young man’s arm, they had talked about his cancer, about Peter’s future dreams, Wade hadn’t told him he was dying, instead he had told him how he was planning to go in at the cops, how he would confess to all the hits he committed.  It hadn’t been a complete lie he told himself, since he had written out confessions he made after every hit, they were in a file in his bag, he’d post them after the last hit, because after the last one he’d pull his own plug.

He could hear a soft groan as the body under him squirmed a little as Peter started waking up, the young man moved up a little and watched him, making him open his eyes lazily, rubbing them with the hand that wasn’t tangled with his.

“Morning baby boy…”  
“Morning Wade, I told you not to call me that…”  
“Well, unless you shut me up I’ll keep calling you that, unless you prefer being called my little grasshopper?”  
“How about you just call me Pete?”  
“Fine Petey boy”  
“Ugh I need coffee before I can handle this level of annoying…”

He laughed and sat up grabbing the phone, ordering them some breakfast with room service while Pete went to the bathroom freshening up. Wade resisted temptation to go check out the young man, though it was tempting.

“Seeing him naked is on my bucket list…”  
“…I will not die happy till I have seen him naked…”  
“…best bum for jeans will look even better without.”

He hummed to himself as he opened the door for room service, ignoring the stare this time as he cheerfully brought the food in, kicking the door shut casually as he watched Peter come out of his bathroom, his hair combed still managed to look messy. The boy belonged in front of a camera more than behind if you’d ask Wade.

“Petey breakfast is ready”  
“Coffee, just give me my coffee…”  
“Here you go handsome.”

He watched the man blush as he accepted the cup, drinking it before he checked his watch and cursed nearly dropping the cup in his hurry to grab his bag. Cursing under his breath the entire time as he nearly jumped in his shoes tripping over his own feet.

“I am late for work!”  
“See you tonight?”  
“Yes, you will, so I can keep you out of trouble!”

He watched the young man bolt out into the hallway, leaving him alone with his breakfast for two, so he ate the pancakes, until his stomach turned and he had to puke. Afterwards he locked himself into the bathroom with his supplies, putting on his mask as he cleaned his weapons again.

The process was therapeutic for him more than anything, his mind on zero, the voices locked out as he just cleaned, one katana with a matching wakizashi from his trips to Japan (he had named the katana Arthur and the wakizashi Bea), those blades have served him well many times and they would as well today. The sniper rifle was named Rogue, she took lives with a single shot and she was easy in the hands like a nicely curved southern woman. He had three different handguns, all of a different caliber, they helped keep the murders lose from each other, serial killers got special hounds on their asses after all, Sally was a SIG Sauer 1911 and allowed for  7 shots of 45 caliber bullets, Glinda was his generation 3 Glock 40 caliber which allowed him 13 shots, she had proven to be his favorite backup to use when going out with his sniper against multiples and his last one was little Luna, it was a little concealed gun, a Bond Arms Centerfire Derringer of 38 caliber, ideal for hits on lowlifes that were meant to look like self-defense.

He put his mask back in his bag when he was done, stripping out of his clothes he put on black leather pants, combat boots and a black button down, he strapped Bea on his back, making sure it didn’t stick out before he put on his hoody, tucking Sally in the deep pocket of the hoody before putting on a long leather coat, slipping little Luna in the inside pouch before he put on his gloves and sunglasses as he zipped up his bag, putting everything he didn’t need behind lock and key as he headed into town, taking a cab to the shopping district where he wandered around till lunch, one of his targets would be out for a smoke break behind the mall where he worked, he had raped several teenage girls there, evidence kept disappearing, his uncle was the head of the police department in the area.

“Will I be able to look Peter in the eyes after doing this…?”  
“I most certainly will…”  
“…He knows what kind of man I am”

He rubbed his head slightly as he went to stand behind some containers, taking out his loyal partner Bea as he waited for the door to open, the guy he was after was a loner, a creeper, his coworkers knew exactly when he took his smoke breaks and they’d stay away from him, Wade loved that. The man paced as he smoked coming closer and closer to the container. Wade watched him pull out his phone as he stood with his back to the container. Judging from the sounds he was making as he ogled the screen he was probably not looking at something clean like a tumblr feed. Tumblr has porn too popped in his head, but he ignored it as he moved in quickly, trusting Bea in the man’s back in a skillful manner, the blade aimed upwards for maximum damage to the lungs and the heart, he wiggled it slightly before pulling it out, watching the man crumble as he cleaned the bade watching the wheezing man bleed out as he threw the bloody rag in the container and hid his weapon on his back , taking care not to step in the blood as he walked away when the light went out in the pedophiles eyes.

Two more people were on the to do list for the day, two nobodies who had hurt too many people bad enough for him to care, two guns on him asking for blood, blood they’d draw sooner rather than later.


	9. Cleaning up the trash

He had to hurry, he only had time till three before the home of his next target would be full of life again, some people might have qualm with taking out a woman, but gender didn’t really influence the kind of people they were. Wade took a cab to get near the home, well two blocks away to be exact, walking the rest of the way through back alleys, slipping in through the back gate of the garden.

Some toys were lying around the garden, the home wasn’t big, but it was big enough to house a single woman and three foster kids, kids who’d be very happy to be relocated after he finished his job, that much he was sure off.

Sally got taken out of his pocket as he approached the door, screwing the silencer on her top silently before he forced open the door swiftly, locking it behind him as he made his way through the home, he could hear moaning from one of the rooms upstairs, so he went around locking the windows and the front door before he snuck up the stairs, following the sound.

He found a woman in her late forties focused on the computer editing the kiddy porn she had shot with her current charges. It took him a lot of self-control not to shoot the computer screen so instead he scrapped his throat loudly.

“Disgusting extra income you have there, Janice.”

The woman turned around startled at the sudden sound and reached for her desk drawer, but he shot her in the hand before she could open it, making her curse loudly, but that wasn’t unusual so it wouldn’t startle the neighbors enough to check.

“What do you want from me you sick fuck!?”  
“I am the sick one here?”

He shot another bullet this time hitting her in the knee as he walked closer swiftly yanking the fashion scarf from her neck, using it to gag her as he watched her squirm and heard her muffled cursing and pained sounds.

“You’re one of the worst kind of people Janice, these kids are supposed to be safe with you…”

He kicked her off the chair and turned off the screen and the sound after starting a copy of the porn evidence on a usb drive (how he wished he didn’t need that sort of evidence), finding some peace of mind with that no longer disturbing him. The kids on the screen were between seven and twelve, which was utterly wrong and disgusting, so he watched the woman bleed for a while, adding a bullet to her other knee when her responses started settling, one in each shoulder before he checked the clock, only fifteen minutes left till the kids finished school, so he removed his silencer and shot one in the chest and one in the head.

Turning the computer screen and sound back on before he rushed down the stairs with the USB in his hand, exciting through the backdoor again as he turned his jacket inside out so the brown smooth inside was visible (reversible jackets were a great tool to disappear in crowds) as he sat down at the bus stop, watching the police cars drive to the home he had just left less then minutes ago.

He pulled out his throw away phone, dialing social service, asking for Miss Preston, informing her that Janice Underwood had died and that she would find a file, with three families who’d gladly take the kids in, in her mail at home.

He didn’t wait for an answer as he hung up and dropped the phone in the trash as the bus arrived back into the center of town.

He had two more hours before Peter would be at his hotel room, so he had to hurry if he wanted to get the last nobody of his list, a pimp who’s girls kept mysteriously ending up in the river whenever they wanted to get on, several of families had made a case against him, but the cops did nothing, no one cared about a couple of prostitutes apparently, but he did.

He looked at the shady ‘Massage center’ he had arrived to and went inside calmly, smiling at the shocked girl at the register, she was beautiful and she was very obviously staring at the part of his scars that wasn’t hidden.

“I am here for the special…”  
“In the back sir… follow me…”  
“Thanks gorgeous…”

He smiled casually at the man in the back room, some stalls were taken there, a backdoor to slip out tagged as fire escape caught his attention right away as he slipped his hand in his pocket, slipping tiny  little Luna up in his sleeve ready for use.

“Aaah a customer for the special?”  
“A man with my looks doesn’t score well with the ladies…so yeah, maybe even buy one of your girls?”  
“You a cop?”  
“Do I look like a cop to you? Anyway, don’t you pay the cops enough to leave you alone anyway?”  
“True, true…all the girls for the specials are busy right now though…”  
“Such a shame, I am in a hurry…”

He walked closer to the man who backed away instinctively, but he raised his hand, Luna slipping in his grip and with three short pangs the man collapsed blood seeping out of his chest as Wade walked out of the fire door calmly in the panic of naked men and naked girls rushing out of the stalls at the sound, all too busy panicking to pay attention to him.

He had an hour to spare before Peter would normally show when he arrived back at the hotel with a cab and tipped the man royally as he walked inside, going to his room where he changed into his jogging pants after washing up calmly, cleaning his hands with alcohol before he cleaned his leather pants and coat, hanging them to dry as he tossed the hoody and the button down in a trash can, burning them in it the metal can on the terrace as he wrote out his confessions, before flushing the remainder from the bucket  through the toilet and hiding his weapons under the bed.

He was leaning on the terrace to smoke a cigarette with a glass of whiskey when he heard a knock on the door, putting his whiskey on the table on his way to the door. He took another puff from his cigarette as he opened the door slightly.

“Hi baby boy…come on in...”  
“Good evening Wade.”

He slammed the door shut behind him and looked at him angrily, showing him a picture of the alley behind the mall, looking at him accusingly. He looked at the picture casually glancing up at Peter calmly.

“Pedophile fillet…”

The outright punch that earned him in the gut made him crumble through his knees, before Peter apologized frantically realizing what he had done. Deciding to keep the rest of his adventures hidden from Pete for now, only teaching the kid to survive. One hit was planned for tomorrow evening and after that there was only one name to cross of his list, before he would close of the chapter that was his life.


	10. If you do this... this is goodbye

How they had gone from Peter punching him so hard it made him sink through his knees to tangled together in bed he couldn’t quite figure it out himself, which was odd, because Wade was quiet sure he had been there for the ride.

There had been apologizing, there had been preaching and there had been a worried arm around him from the young man’s side. From his side there had been a stream of words about how training the kid was going to end him in the hospital, before somehow their heads had collided, their lips had met. Accidental maybe? Yet it had triggered something in both of them, because Wade Wilson was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a top.

Probably a pity fuck, was what his mind reminded him, as he watched the blissful expression of the face that rested on his chest, he could still feel his aching butt, the stickiness that was their fluids stained them and the blankets, but the young man had fallen asleep before they could have cleaned up.

Or maybe experimenting, was the next train of thought as he remembered the sudden stroke of shyness as the young man had prepared to take him, a hesitation he had selfishly whipped aside by forcing himself back onto him, the pleasure of that had removed all hesitation from his bed partner.

Maybe he’ll flee in the morning, it was the closing argument of every time he had been intimate since he looked like this, they’ll run away when they realize what has happened. But that wasn’t going to stop him from cherishing what had happened, from enjoying the after taste of the kisses that had ravished his lips and left them swollen.

He found himself cradling the young man protectively as he started slipping away in a peaceful slumber, forgetting all about the monster he was for just a brief moment as the last thing on his mind was the look in those hazel eyes, a look that had been burned into his very soul, eyes filled with love and a wish, for him to be the best he could be.

Wade would have believed it all to be a dream when he woke up in an empty bed the next day, except for the distinct fact that he and his blankets were sticky, as well as a distinct soreness in his butt due to a not so skilled bed partner. However he didn’t mind the pain a bit, it served as a reminder of a nice time shared.

He slowly sat up, looking around halfheartedly for the young man who was nowhere to be seen, but there was no stain of puke either, so it could have been worse. At least that’s what he told himself as he pushed the idea of putting a bullet through his head out of his mind, there would be time for that after he finished his job.

“Morning Wade…”

He made a sound that he hardly believed to have been human as he fell of the bed, looking up at Peter who was looking down on him with an arched eyebrow from the bathroom door, his hair damp and his t-shirt thrown over his shoulder as one hand buttoned his pants.

“Petey, baby boy, you’re still here…”  
“On my way out, have work to do…”  
“Aaaah… of course… uhm…”  
“If you go out to do that kill tonight don’t expect to ever see me again…”  
“…aaaah… even though you saw what kind of person he is?”  
“Yes, even then…”

Wade got up slowly, looking at the young man, looking down on him he himself still felt small, compared to this man a few years his junior he felt like a small child being told off. It would be tempting to throw the black book out, it was so tempting to spend a few selfish weeks, hell maybe he only had days left, one was never sure with this disease, but all be damned, the deadpool was something he had sworn to finish, a promise he wouldn’t break.

“Then… this is goodbye… you can report me to the police, I will not run…”  
“Wade, just stop this senseless killing, turn yourself in, do your time, start a new life…”

He looked away from those pleading hazel eyes, he couldn’t bear to break the hope that the young man was feeling, he couldn’t bear to tell him that he wouldn’t live long enough to even see his place on death row.

“Goodbye Peter, stay safe, stay true to who you are…”

He didn’t move, his fists clenching at his side as he stared at the floor, it felt like forever before his room door smacked shut so hard he was surprised it hadn’t broken to pieces. He couldn’t help but feel like he just stabbed himself through the heart.

He sank through his knees when reality fully hit him, he felt like crying, but instead he laughed, it was a death raspy laughter that quite honestly even scared himself. Tears started falling a little after, but the laughter didn’t stop until his throat was too sore to even whisper and his tears had long dried up again.

He had never dazed through a kill before, he had never spend so much money on alcohol as he had done that night either, but killing Mr. Osborn hadn’t brought him the satisfaction that knowing he had made the world a bit less shitty normally did. He found himself staring at the room door with a gun in his hand for the next couple of days, but police never came, so he prepared to do his last job.

“Wilson Fisk… I am coming for you now…”

He watched the black book burn as he sat down on his hotel room balcony, he had already removed the forum completely, the Deadpool was no more. All that he had left to do now was preparing two large envelops, one had Peter’s address, he had an easy time pickpocketing his driver’s license as they had been shopping, just so he could send this file to him when it was done and the other was addressed to a small law firm Nelson and Murdock, it contained all his confessions as well as all the evidence he gathered on the criminals and their associates. He posted both envelopes on his way to his last mission, one he didn’t plan to walk away from.


	11. Epilogue Part one: Nelson and Murdock

“Hey Matt…You gotta hear this!”

Nearly instantly he could hear Foggy tune the TV in his office to the max so he could hear the news report about Wilson Fisk’s mansion being under attack by a single perpetrator. There was no contact with the SWAT unit trying to end the situation, any attempt to negotiate had been blown away as the controversial business man stood against the large windows of his living room, his hands over his head with the perpetrator using him as a shield for the snipers, a technique that would only work so long Foggy noted dryly.

“Isn’t our case against Fisk tomorrow?”  
“Hearing the situation I wonder if there will be someone to persecute left…”

He frowned as he heard Foggy gasp as the news report announced they had a visual on the perpetrator. Matt used his cane to find his friend as the loud news disrupted his echolocation technique and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Foggy…what’s the matter?”  
“I recognize the outfit…that weirdo that showed up a month ago out of nowhere asking us to handle his paperwork when he died since he was terminal…”  
“Mr. Wilson?”  
“…Unless someone else likes black and red leather and carry along a black duffle bag like a security blanket…”  
“That’s ridiculous, Mr Wilson was so carring, he insisted we’d help him select good non-profits to donate too...”

Suddenly there was an explosion of chaos and noise on the newscast, there was yelling from the officers and the camera crew as well as the reporter, he could hear one distinct yell.

“Mr Fisk is down! Wilson Fisk is down!”

Gunfire sounded near the reporters now, as the officers opened fire on the no longer covered perpetrator, there was an earie silence as people seemed to be checking if the man would have survived that wave of bullets, but this wasn’t a cartoon or a comic, no one could survive such a salvo.

“Turn that off…it’s giving me a killer headache… lets go for a drink, we’ll know more in the morning.”  
“Fisk is dead Matt! You’re proposing a drink?”  
“A corrupt business man that had a building demolished while there were still people living in there, a man who put an old lady in the hospital by sending a unit of enforcers on her was killed, whoever it turns out to have been, they cleaned up the city a little for us.”  
“A drink then, our schedule for tomorrow has been cleared.”

* * *

 

The next morning Foggy was groaning as he got up to accept the package from the mailman, a thick heavy envelope addressed to them. There had been no further news about the Wilson Fisk case yet, except that the trial was cancelled, police had promised a press conference in the afternoon, and their radio in the office was tuned into a local station to hear updates.

Matt took a seat on the edge of Foggy’s desk as he opened the envelope and slid out a large pile of papers as well as a USB (noted dryly by Foggy). Matt listened as Foggy looked through the papers in silence gasping every now and then, Matt simply gave his friend the time to process the information before he scrapped his throat.

“Can I be in the loop now?”  
“Aaaaah….of course Matt…There is a whole bunch of written confessions and a sealed letter as well, want me to read the letter addressed to us first?”  
“Yeah, I’d like to know what all the gasping is about.”

He could hear his friend hesitate for a moment, before drinking from his coffee to chase away the hangover from their late night the day before. Before he started reading the letter out loud.

_Dear Mr Nelson and Mr Murdock,_

_Firstly I would like to thank you both for representing me and bringing everything around my will in order, I haven’t been truly honest with you from the start. Something I know Mr Murdock had noticed. I had never any bad intentions, but I am a soldier with blood on my hands, that’s what I have been for as long as I can remember._

_Included in this package you will find a CD that has all the evidence I collected on all my hits I committed in the past five years since I had my cancer. The papers included in this package are all my written confessions written the days of the hits, dated and in great detail, it includes details never mentioned to the public, so the police officers investigating the cases will be able to confirm these confessions being legitimate._

_In the past months I have been more active then I have been in all my career, from one or two hits a month I went to a handful of hits sometimes within a week, most of these hits however have been for free, they have been the people that your precious system couldn’t stop, the people who escaped through the mazes of the net of law._

_I operate under the guise of a Deadpool, a network of desperate and wronged people who wanted justice, I was thorough in my checks, I denied more then I accepted, but there is more evil in this world then there are twelve year olds on online MMO’s._

_I kept New York for last, because it kept popping up more and more no matter how I tried to ignore it, eventually I decided New York would be my last stand, the town where I had met people who could see past my scars. Two of those were you, thank you for that._

_A last thing included in this package is a letter to the third person who could see past my scars, his name is Peter Parker, he is a photographer for the Daily Bugle. I wish to have one last change in my will, if it’s not too much to ask of you both, can you please deliver the letter and five percent of my funds to Mr Parker? I send him a file as well, but I don’t think he’ll open it without a visit from you both. As promised another five percent of my funds are for you both to allow you to work more pro bono cases without having problem with the funding and all the other funds go into the charities we selected before._

_It was nice meeting you both, goodbye Wade Winston Wilson._

Matt felt torn between disbelief, shock and admiration, the last felt out of place, but how often had he be tempted to take law in his own hands. This went beyond beating up bullies in alley’s like he had done a few times, but they had work to do now.

He could hear Foggy scrape his throat and blow his nose in an attempt to hide what sounded like a few sniffs. Though Foggy had found Mr Wilson annoying according to his own account he had been charmed by the cheerful, silly waterfall of words that had been their client.

“Lets arrange the funds first, they are on foreign accounts, if we hand this to the police they’ll just put it all on hold in government hands, Mr Wilson might have been a killer, but the good he wanted to do should be done first.”  
“I will send a mail to our contact at the police to set up a meeting in a few hours to hand in the evidence, I will copy everything and put it in the safe as well…what about the letter though?”  
“We’ll handle that tomorrow, first handle the charity and the legal matters, start a new account for Mr Parker’s percentage.”


	12. Epilogue two: Farewell Parker

There are only so many days a man can skulk in his home before he has to get his ass back in gear, aunt May had been worried about him and J.J. Jamerson was getting upset about the lack of pictures. He was totally over the murderer anyway, he had talked pretty but he was not planning to change not even for him, sure they had sex, but surely it was just experimenting he hadn’t loved the guy!

So when Peter heard about the commotion at the Fisk Manor he rushed there, climbing over a fence in his black clothes Wade had gotten him before he climbed up a tree to get a nice and clear view into the huge main floor of the place.

He nearly fell out of the tree when he recognized the red and black leather outfit and the masked head even when seen from this angle. He used his zoom lens just to make sure. Sure enough, it was Wade no doubt about it. A wave of worry and panic hit him, he didn’t want Wade to die, but all signs were aimed at that.

He snapped a few pictures trying to stay focused, hearing the failed attempts at contact from the megaphone he was about to drop down, tell the cops he knew him, talk some sense into Wade have him give himself in like he had said he would when his mission was over, if he could convince Wade his mission was over surel-

There was a bang of a gunshot, it made him drop his camera, letting it hit against his chest hard as he stared at the scene that seemed to had turned into slow motion. Shattering glass rained down with blood as the broad body of Wilson Fisk was shoved through the glass hard. He got a full frontal view of Wade standing at the edge of the second story full wall of now missing glass. He felt like the eyes under the mask met his, but he doubted that was real, that fraction lasted forever in his mind, before the explosion of gunfire started.

The impacts of the bullets seemed to shake the body before Wade collapsed, Peter was glad he didn’t have his vocal lens up anymore so he wouldn’t see it from close by, his tears ran freely from his face as he wondered if Wade was bleeding out slowly like Uncle Ben had. Wade was all alone there, everything seemed to have frozen, it felt like forever before the cops stormed in, they announced him death a full five minutes later after having checked if the place really was clear.

Peter slipped out before the cops did a sweep of the property around the house, he dragged himself to the hotel making his way to Wade’s empty room, slipping against the door he sat there silently until a maid shooed him away hours later during her morning rounds.

Somehow Peter made his way home to a worried aunt May and he looked at her desperately, pulling away when she tried to comfort him, locking himself up in his room instead, glancing at his picture wall he stared directly into the picture of an awkward looking Wade Wilson, the confusion on his face so clear as he had wanted to take a picture of him.

It was at that moment, that his entire world collapsed and Peter Parker fell on his knees crying like he had never cried before, while he felt like his heart was torn to pieces and his body would fall apart from the physical pain this heartbreak brought with it.  One thought flashing through his head over and over, I ran and he died, just like Uncle Ben, if I had stayed… would he still be here?

As time passed and his tears ran out the desperation made room for rage, because how dare he, how selfish had Wade been to have killed himself like that, taking the easy way out like that, surely many people were hurt by his actions! Plus he was a murderer! He escaped his punishment for all the blood on his hands!

The picture that had caused him to collapse before got torn of the wall viciously, as he crumpled it together in an angry fist, throwing it in the garbage can as he pushed away the memories that boiled up.

The feeling of Wade’s arms around him as he had his panic attack ghosted up in his mind and body, he could almost feel it, as if Wade was with him right there and then. His anger deflated like a balloon that snapped lose.

He found himself slipping down on his bed numbly as the pain, the guilt, the rage, the doubt all seemed to fade into an emptiness that felt so much worse. He just nodded when his aunt brought him some food, eating a few bites as he tossed the mail she had brought with the food aside uninterested, not even eating half of his meal before he curled up in bed going to sleep.

* * *

 

Afternoon the next day he hadn’t budged out of his bed yet, he didn’t have any intention to, but when there were suddenly two men standing in his bedroom door while his aunt excused herself he had little to no choice but to sit up and at least try to look like a functional individual.

“Boy Matt the kid looks like a mess, you sure we got the right Peter Parker…”  
“You tell me Foggy you’re the one who found the address in Mr Wilson’s information.”

Peter ground his teeth annoyed at the mention of the name, the emotion catching him a little by surprise, a slight bit of hope filled him as well, two men in suits talking about Wade, maybe he survived? Maybe the cops made a mistake?

“Mr Parker, I am Matt Murdock, this is my partner Franklin Nelson, we are Mr Wilson’s attorneys he requested us to make sure you got what he left you…”  
“I am not interested in anything from him!”

He snarled annoyed and threw his pillow at the men, in a very dickish teenage boy move, was he twelve again, he was 24 for crying out loud. He sighed as the sunglasses wearing lawyer caught the pillow with the hand that wasn’t resting on a cane, a typical cane for blind people he realized which made him frown annoyed and confused.

“Your party trick is confusing him Matt…”  
“I don’t really care Foggy, he doesn’t want it, but we promised Mr Wilson to fulfill his last will, so can you just read the letter out loud?”  
“Fine, as long as I don’t have to touch anything of his, do what you’re paid to do I guess…”

He purposely aimed his attention at the window as he heard the scraping of his chair when Mr Nelson sat down on it, while the blind lawyer, Matt he believed, sat on the corner of his desk, something he could see in the reflection in the window.

The sound of slowly being torn open paper of the envelope sounded as the lawyer hesitated while unfolding the letter hesitantly, glancing up at the window, hoping to read something on Peter’s face that would make him believe Peter would read the letter himself. With any lack of response or acknowledgement from the numb, but irritated Peter the man licked his lips and started reading the letter.

_Dear Peter,_

_I hope you will forgive me some day, for being the man I was, as you would remind me again and again, I have blood on my hands, I have blood soaked money and I guess I was little better than the people I hunted._

_You once asked me if Wade Wilson was even my real name, well Wade Winston Wilson is my real name, I guess that even though I didn’t look like me anymore, I at least wanted to die with someone knowing who I am._

_Truth is Peter, I have been dead for so many years already, I don’t think I ever truly lived until the day I ‘saved’ you from those bullies in uniform. I didn’t exactly have much happiness in life, my mother died young of the very cancer that has been killing me slowly for the past five years._

_I can’t explain the pain to you Peter, I won’t even try, I was so desperate to cling to my life that when I was a teen I joined the army so I could learn to survive, but all I learned was to kill and follow orders, and I was good at that. Until I was asked to step out when I was disobeyed orders to take out a base of child soldiers._

_I became a mercenary, to pay the bills you know, government contracts mostly, private facilities, I was good, very good and I just did as I was asked. Until five years ago, I was told I had cancer, I could just buy myself time, so that’s what I did._

_I wanted to have something to live for, so I started the Deadpool forum, more as a joke, I was drunk, like borderline black out drunk, I can’t even explain the overwhelming response, I checked every case, so much evil escapes the law Peter, so much evil no one could stop._

_The worst that could happen was that I’d get killed, I didn’t have anyone in my life, I was alone and I was going to die who knew when anyway. So I started cleaning up the world so to speak, one kill at a time, all the evidence kept, confession written out, leaving out my source of course._

_I wasn’t planning to settle anywhere, just keep going, but then I met you. So naive and hopeful, yet so tormented and helpless as well. I couldn’t help but think I could do some good that wouldn’t involve staining my hands more. I could teach you to survive._

_What I got in return… was life… you brought me to life Peter, I didn’t want to die when you were around, but my body didn’t care. My pain got worse, after you left I tried to hold on, thinking you might change your mind. As I am writing this I can feel the pain of one of my lungs shutting down, so I know I can’t live anymore Peter._

_I didn’t sleep with you because I was lonely Peter, I slept with you because I loved you, I didn’t teach you to survive because I was bored, but because I believe you make the world more beautiful. So please, accept me leaving you five percent of my earned wealth, nearly all the rest is going to charity, but the money should be enough to pay of any student loans debt you have left. Put the rest aside to buy a house or something, the file I send you by post is about my life, about my mission, if you sell it to your newspaper I am sure it will give you a lot of money._

_I won’t have to kill anyone if you publish my picture now, but I promise I would never have killed an innocent for my own sake._

_Thank you for giving me life…_

_Farewell_

_Wade Wilson_

There was no stopping the tears anymore, they had slowly crept up on him as 'Foggy' had read the letter out loud to him, he could feel two surprisingly strong arms wrap around him at first he thought it were Wade, but then he realized that Matt, the blind lawyer had crept closer to his bed and sat down on the edge next to him.  It felt reassuring, but it also added to the pain as he buried his face in the available chest, he let it all out again, crying like a baby as he felt Matt hold him silently while Foggy excused himself, leaving the room to give them some privacy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Hands out chocolate and tissues-

**Author's Note:**

> I did it I finally finished it! This has been a full five months project where this freaking story has been haunting me, that stupid what if I idea I got on a quiet day at work has been the oooh so heavenly bane on my writer’s brain.  
> This story has made me laugh, it has made me cry, it has made me get mad. It made me delete entire chapters before writing them back up exactly the same.  
> This has been a story where I had to reread the entire thing several times to make sure there were no inconsistencies in my universe. The full emotion of what I write only hits me when I sit down to reread and boy, this story hits me hard. 
> 
> I don’t think I will ever feel like this isn’t one of my best Spideypool works.


End file.
